Winning Back an Ex is Never Easy

Winning back an ex-girlfriend is never going to be easy and so before you even start trying, you should be certain that that is what you really want.

In many cases the need to have an old girlfriend back is just the missing of female company and so in these instances it is probably going to be easier to just find a new girlfriend rather than try and win the old one back.

If however, you decide that it is the old girlfriend you really want back, then you will have to try hard but first you must establish the reason for the break up in the first place as otherwise, the same thing may happen again and you will have wasted your efforts.

If you broke up with the girl for one reason or another, it may be easier to win her back as, as little as an apology and an admission that you made a mistake may be enough. If however it was she that broke up with you, things could be a little harder and in fact a lot harder.

Before you try and win her back though, you will have to try and determine what it was that made her leave in the first or else, having gone to the trouble of winning her back, she will just leave you again anyway. In winning her back it is not so much what you do as it is what you mustn’t do and perhaps the most important thing not to do is beg.

Most girls think that pets are cute when they beg but they are not men and most girls will lose any respect they may still have had for you if you beg.

Although it is true that begging has worked on certain occasions, the reason why the girls went back was through feelings of sympathy and nothing more meaning, as the sympathy fades, the relationship once gain comes to an early end.

In your endeavors to win back a girl, you should never ever threaten either her or yourself as that may only make her return through feelings of fear as to what may happen if she doesn’t.

Once again if she does return under such conditions, the romance will be short and probably not even sweet. The last thing that it is advisable to not do is bring up the past.

Although you may think that reminding her of some of your better times together may help you earn her back, research shows that more often than not, talk of the past also brings back to her memories of the bad times, reminding her of the reasons why she left you in the first place.

So you must not use these three tactics but think of others to use instead and remember, she is probably already aware of your of your best chat up lines and so those will have to change. Like I said, not an easy task and so be sure it is what you want before you even try.

How to Get Her Back, the Long Game

If you have a seriously stubborn ex-girlfriend (or wife) the usual tricks and tips won’t work. You love her, you know her flaw, and you want her back. This will be a long-term game; a game that you will win in the end if you play by the rules. Like something from Barney’s “Playbook”, this has steps that you have to follow religiously if you want it to work.

Step One – Her family and friends.

You probably met her friends. You know where they work, go out, and so on. Whether you like them or not, for right now you love them. Find them and be nice. Not creepy nice, just casual. If they complain about something, offer to help. But don’t just offer, you need to actually help them. You need to win them over. If you can meet her mom, and she has a good relationship with her mom, help her with groceries, be kind, and be polite. Tell each one of these people NOT to tell your ex that you’ve been around. If they figure out that all this is a way to get her back, they will make you look like the devil. Tell them that you understand she needs space and you don’t want to make her feel awkward. Talk naturally and perhaps informally ask what she’s been up to, but do not comment. They need to see that you are a nice guy and that you miss her but don’t look pathetic.

Step Two – Get ready to meet.

While you’re charming her family and friends, get your act together. Get some new clothes, work harder at work, and pull yourself together. You need to look good for step three, so work on yourself. Whatever you need to get confident, go out with friends, do the things you like. If you’re still feeling pathetic when you meet her, she’ll sense it and walk away. Let a month pass before the next step. This is enough time for some self-reflection.

Step Three – The accidental meeting.

You know all her usual routes and hang-outs. Arrive on time at one of these and bump into her, not literally. Explain why you are in the neighborhood, for work or meeting some friends. Don’t get into too many details. Talk briefly, and again with little details. Finish with “you’re looking good” and excuse yourself. Don’t say anything more. If she says “We should meet up for coffee or something”, be nonchalant. Say “sure”, but don’t get too excited. You must appear mysterious and aloof. As if you have better things to do. This will make her think about you and analyze the meeting.

Step Four – The phone call.

After the meeting, let a week or two go by. If she hasn’t called you by then, you need to do so. Any longer than that and you’re back to step one. By now, her family and friends are talking about you. She saw your new Facebook pictures and you look good. She met you, thought about it, and you seem busy. Now call her. Be confident and direct. Ask her how she is, what she’s doing, but all that carelessly. As if you don’t really care. Unless something tragic happened in the meantime, ask her for dinner. If you are confident and played your cards right, she will agree. Set a time and date.

Step Five – The date, the victory.

Go out to a restaurant where you both feel comfortable. Bring her a rose. If you arrive before her, sit at the bar. Only when she arrives and is seated should you join her. If she sees you’re desperate, she holds the cards. Talk naturally, have fun, be witty. Do and say the things that attracted her to you in the first place. Mention some happy memories between you. Once you’ve mentioned a memory, pause to take a sip of your drink. This gives her time to think about what you’ve said. Let her talk about the good times. Walk, or drive, her home. Before the end of the evening, tell her how you feel, that you miss her. She will probably feel the same. If she does, talk about getting back together at this point and not a moment sooner. If all goes well, the night will end with a kiss. One kiss is all you need and she’s yours again.

As we mentioned in the first paragraph, if this concerns your marriage then further steps may be required. As well as the steps above, I would recommend searching for marriage counselling services near me.

This should allow you to find a local expert who can act as a tool to save your marriage.

Winning an Ex-Girlfriend Back: Become Friends First

Your girlfriend recently broke up with you and you want her back badly. If your heart hurts, this is understandable. But, the best way to get your girlfriend back might be to make her your friend. This sounds odd, but if you can build a relationship on the foundation of a strong friendship, then you have done an amazing thing. And if you have forgotten how to make a true friend, then use our easy steps to guide you on the correct path.

 

Steps to Making a Friend for a Lifetime

  • Call her and arrange to meet her for lunch. Don’t pick her up; meet her at the restaurant like you do your other friends. And enjoy some good food and conversation. Don’t overdrink and get silly, and don’t pay her bill. Split the tab 50/50 just like you would with other friends.
  • Ask for her advice about things in your world. Ask her how to prepare for an upcoming interview, how to make marina sauce, and what yoga spot is the best place in town. Then when she answers your questions, listen to her. Really listen to her as she talks.
  • Be a shoulder to cry on if she needs it. This should not be a ploy to get romantic with her, but should be a genuine gesture of friendship. Be a good friend and have the tissues ready when needed. She will appreciate this greatly.
  • Spend time apart from her just like you do with your other friends. Do not attempt to engage her with plans five times out of the week. Keep her in your sight and in your mind, but give her plenty of breathing space.
  • Do not be afraid to tell her no. If you are busy when she has her football playoff party, then tell her you can’t attend. You would do this with friends, who weren’t once your girlfriend, wouldn’t you?
  • Buy small tokens that remind you of her and present them to her without embarrassment. These small tokens should not cost hundreds or thousands of dollars and should be true mementos of remembrance and gestures of friendship. A great idea for this is books. Buy a book that you know she would love. This small gesture speaks volumes about a person. Another great gift is a plant of fresh flowers of her favorite kind.
  • You can also write her small notes of thanks for being good friends. Women love notes, and they should always be hand written. I have kept all my notes given to me by friends and romantic interests. They are valuable tokens of great love and caring.
  • Once you have solidly built a true friendship for all the right reasons, consider whether you want to move to make it a romantic relationship. If you do, it will have an amazing foundation. But if you decide to remain friends, you will have a wonderful friend for a lifetime and this is indeed a beautiful thing.

An Ex Problem

Sometimes we make big mistakes in our lives and don’t even realize, whilst we are making them, that they are mistakes. One of these most common mistakes is losing a girlfriend as often, we don’t even realize how much we need them until we have lost them.

If this is the case and we have lost a girlfriend and only afterwards realize how much she meant to us, not any girl but that girl meant to us, we need to try and win her back. However, that is usually far easier said than done as an ex-girlfriend is perhaps the hardest girl to ever win.

As it is so hard to do, often men will find other girls to try and take her place but all too often those new girls cannot fill the void you feel inside and so you make the effort to get back the ex.

A mistake that you may be tempted to make is to beg her to come back but that is the worst thing you could ever do. It may work to get her back but she would have lost respect for you and only returned through feelings of sympathy, feelings which are never long lasting and so any hope of a lasting romance with her will have been lost forever.

Neither should you plead with her to remember the good times you shared as experts say that whilst remembering those good times, she will also recollect the bad times which means it could have the opposite effect to what you were hoping for.

Instead, the experts say, you should concentrate on the future and talk to her of what great things you could do together in times yet to come. As romance is almost always in the forefront of a girl’s thoughts, consider discussing the possibility of romantic weekends away in the countryside or walks along a moonlit beach.

Dinners by candle light or picnics are often thought to be romantic settings and so if those are things you didn’t do together in the past, just the mentioning of them may convince her that you are worth a second chance.

Of course though, if you are successful in getting her back, you better make good on those promises or even if they weren’t exactly promised, you would have given her ideas of what to expect and so better live up to those expectations if you intend to keep her.

Having won her back you may easily forget the sorrow you felt having lost her the last time but if you really want her back to stay, you must keep that feeling alive as a reminder to live up to your promises and thereby never feel that sorrow again.

Of course though, I you think your ex is not worth all this effort, then just go out and find a new girlfriend, as it isn’t your ex you missed, it would only be female companionship you missed and any girl could fill that void.

Rekindling a Romance

There are instances when, although we have had a breakup with our girlfriends, we wish we could get them back. When this occurs the first thing we should do is think and think hard. Do we want them back because we feel lonely or have a feeling of rejection or are due to the fact that we have real, deep feelings for the girl.

If we are just feeling lonely or rejected, it may be easier to consider finding a new girlfriend as, after all, if romance with your ex failed once, it could just as easily fail again. If however your feelings are for the girl in question, every effort should be taken to try and win her back. If this is the case though, you will want to win her back permanently and so care should be taken.

Although some of the popular ways of getting back an ex-girlfriend may work in the short term, they can seriously damage any hope for a lasting relationship. Two of the most popular approaches to getting an ex-girlfriend back are begging and threats. Although begging may bring her back, it would probably also have reduced her confidence in you as when faced with a crisis, you can merely resort to begging.

When I talk of threats, I mean you saying things like you can’t go on without her and life isn’t worth living without her. This approach once again can work but to what extent? Yes your old girlfriend might return to your side but why? The chances are that she would have returned through a feeling of pity for you, she felt sorry for you.

If that is the case yes, she is once again by your side but as that pity wears off, the chances are that her interest in you also will and she may even hold a grudge that you resorted to invoking her pity in order to fulfill your wishes. Both of these approaches then could work but not in a way which is in the best interests of a prolonged romance.

If we genuinely want a girl back it should be only in the interests of a long lasting relationship and so the approach we take in getting her back, should not do any potential; damage to her long term feelings for you. Although many guys like to remind their ex of the good times they had that may only realize in her, thoughts of how bad things turned out and so the past should be left in the past.

Talk to her of the future and of how good the future could be if they you were together. Always of course, be prepared to forgive or even say sorry but most importantly, if you at fault in any way, show her that you have changed and I mean show her; not just tell how you have changed. Sometimes relationships break up because a man does not want to ever admit that they may be wrong and if that is the case, be prepared to admit any mistakes you may have made.